Attention All Students
The beast sharpening his hooves in the science wing is the new mascot.
Anxiety is not an excuse for truancy.
The test about democracy has been postponed.
If you witness the enemy in the swimming pool, inform your assistant principal at once.
This week field trips to the fallout shelters have been canceled.
Do not disturb the music teachers dying on the football field; their fear is contagious.
All wills without a name will be marked incomplete.
The Armageddon drill will begin shortly.
“Attention All Students” originally appeared in Little Star Journal and has been reprinted here with permission of the author.
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